December 2010
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so i was sad. and my brother the other week asked me, “what are you most proud of today?”
November 2010
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sean, you’re cool. i don’t even care if it’s true, because it makes sense in my head and that means that it’s gonna be okay. that girl that fits into every goddamn song i hear? she wanted the easy relationship. i deserve hella better. or something.
I’M GONNA BE OKAY BITCHES.
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“I loved them as poets love the poetry that kills them, as drowned sailors the sea.”
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“Was this what it all meant—utter, intact separateness, obscured by heat of living?”
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eternal sunshine of the spotless mind: annnnnd go.
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gossip girl gives me unrealistic expectations about love.
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i don’t know why i can’t grasp it/why this isn’t sinking in. i think it’s just that it doesn’t make sense, and since i can’t see it, it’s not real. there’s that fundamental disconnect between minds, and i keep saying, what if you’re just lying again. i just can’t know. what if it’s a test. i mean, i guess that’s denial or...
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“The air of the room chilled his shoulders. He stretched himself cautiously along under the sheets and lay down beside his wife. One by one, they were all becoming shades. Better pass boldly into that other world, in the full glory of some passion, than fade and wither dismally with age. He thought of how she who lay beside him had locked in her heart for so many years that image of her...
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i get these impulses to drive to hartsville, but that doesn’t make sense. it’s like my body’s stuck in two months ago.
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i had a dream about taking peter and wendy to the vet last night, and the vet turned out to be dr. spaceman from 30 rock. it was kinda cool.
but i just wake up so damn mad these days. i want everything to make you think about me. i want you to fucking feel this.
is there seriously something that fucking wrong with me that 2 out of the 3 people i’ve dated have cheated on me. i just...
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she read this piece about coming out to her mom. and her mom’s really loud in public response was, “my daughter… MY DAUGHTER… has touched another girl’s vagina.” and dsjakhxkj; i don’t know. best thing i’ve heard in awhile.
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so this girl in my creative writing class today kind of made my entire month.
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i hate you. i hate you and that i can’t drive past that church, can’t drive home, without my hands getting cold and my throat getting shitty. i want to not think about you. i want every fucking song to not be about you.
if you’d died instead it wouldn’t have been that you just stopped loving me and started fucking someone else. i wish you’d changed in irreparable...
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i want you to be as replaceable as i am. and fuck you, because i deserved a real conversation.
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iiiiiiii might dye my hair.
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i want to fall asleep in this song.
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I had a dream last night that Toby came to me because he thought she was wrong, because he thought I’d be better for her than that girl.
Too bad he hates me in reeeeeal life.
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decisions out of my hands, easier to deal with. nothing i can do. nothing left; move on.
remember when i was 16? remember when i was 17? remember how i was okay before i met you? i can be that girl again. different, sure. but okay.
i’m tired of thinking about you. i’m tired of my life revolving around you.
so fucking done.
i’m gonna be okay without you.
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I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO STOP CHANGING FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS PLEASE.
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i have legitimately never wanted to be over anyone before.
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to caitlin: you made me someone different. everyone makes you different; i get that. each passing day changes something little; every cup of coffee you drink, every walk you take, changes something about you. but you changed a lot with me. i’m independent. i’m an individual. and i guess you made me feel like i didn’t need that as much anymore. somehow i was suddenly okay as...
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seriously, i didn’t date this you for a year and a half. real people aren’t that mean.
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irony times fifty. it took me a week after you left for you to tell me. but you’d left before that.
I wake up exhausted it’s not morning It’s back to sleep to re-dream me We’re alone and we’re happy But there you are, angry with me Are you alright I can stand up straight Are you alright can you get me off your mind I hated this city before you came here So let go and move on We’re strangers, we’re not friends I hate this and I hate them This...
Since She Left: Please →
sincesheleft:
Please come back and make me love you and leave too soon like you always do. Please leave pieces of you in every corner so I can feel the pain of your absence in every silent space in my room. Please leave your smell in my pillow so it can linger on and on and make my heart ache as I hug your…
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Mary: “Love is the murderer of logic.”
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Just wanted to relive who you were for a second.
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